Sorry for not updating for almost a week. Well, things turned out nasty last week with deadlines and meetings, which somehow left me super-exhausted during the nights.
Salam Aidiladha to all Muslim bloggers.
Festive occasions nowadays seem to have negative impacts on me. I am no longer turned on with the myriads of colours or 'kuih raya's. What matters to me is the family. The girls, of course. They should not miss out the fun of all these occasions just because the ibu is not feeling so.
Festive occasions always bring us all sort of memories. What are memories? Memories, to me, are something that I would want to think of throughout my life, till the end of my life. Memories which have been recollected throughout my 33 years of life. Memories of which I would like to rewind and be in them, again, without questions.
I would like to share with you some of my fondest memories.
- When I was around 3 or 4 years old, just mama and me, mama brought me to the new house she bought with abah. I could still recall the empty house. Mama bought a packed lunch, and a book for me. We sat at the empty hall, by the sliding door, and she fed me, with her hand, while I was reading a book. It was a photographer moment if you could imagine how it would be. Why was it one of my fondest memories? It was just mama and me.
- When I began primary school, mama said I always procrastinated with my homework. I would cry my lungs out, konon nak buat homework when everyone wanted to go to bed. I cried like nobody's business, complete with the mopping the floor routine. Mama would put me under the shower, to calm me. But, she would always accompany me, doing my homework after that, with a hot cup of milo and coaxed me.
- When I was little, abah and mama would always scoop us out of the bed for a night ride. Not to anywhere special, but always to the Custom Quarantine Area. I would always ask mama, what actually were we doing? Mama would always say, "Nak cari hantu si Bongkok Tanjung Puteri!". As a custom officer, mama's nature of work was to check the lorries which were quarantined before they were released by the custom. Sometimes, I couldn't go to sleep just because mama had earlier told me we would be going for the night ride. Why was it my fondest memory? The fact that the whole family was together, and we siblings were banging our heads with each other at the back seat, sleeping. The fact that abah and mama did not want to leave us.
- How mama tricked me when she wanted to show me the acceptance letter from boarding school. She came back from work early, one day. She said she was called by the school and it was reported that I did not return some of the library books. Until, she showed me the letter. Then she was quiet, because I would be leaving home for some time.
- The time when abah secretly cried when he wanted to send me to boarding school. Why? Abah has never been good in expressing his feelings. I would never know whether he is sad or happy. Secretive kind of guy, he is.
- At the boarding school, I would call mama everyday, without fail. Eventhough I could only talk to her for a minute, that's more than enough for me. I would always be the first one lining up for the gate to the hostel to be opened after riadah, and made sure I would be the first one to reach the payphone. I had a 'partner in crime' for this. My dormmate, and my friend until now, Normy.
- How we would spend most of the school holidays, by the beach. Desaru specifically. It's like a normal unspeakable routine.
- Abah's expression when he had to carry my large suitcase, to be brought to my hostel when I entered university. It was a large and very heavy one.
- Mama's expression, everytime I brought home her favourite kuih, bingka beras.
- Abah and Mama's expression when I told them that someone is coming to ask for my hand in marriage.
- How mama and me hugged each other , crying, after my khatam Quran, a very long one. How she kissed both my cheeks and forehead, and said she loved me.
- How abah hugged and kissed me on the forehead, very long, after the solemnization of akad nikah.
- How mama read the 'lafaz melepaskan anak' after the solemnization of akad nikah. I could not hold my tears, at the part she said, '...aku halalkan susu badanku..'
- Mama's expression when I left home, not as a boarding school student, not as a university student, not as someone leaving for work- but as someone's wife.
- My husband's expression, when I told him, I was pregnant, with our first child, Hannah.
- How mama waited, patiently, for me who was in the labour room, giving birth to Hannah. It was during the fasting month.
- The first azan, my husband gave to our first daughter, right after she was born.
- My husband's expression, when he accompanied me, giving birth to both our daughters. It was a mixed expression of being supportive and worried.
- The kiss on the forehead my husband gave me, after I have safely given birth.
- Mama's expressions when she first saw both her granddaughters.
- Mama took care of Hannah for a while, before she was sent to a nursery. There was a time, when I got home from work, Mama would be craddling Hannah in her arms, who is asleep, while she was also sleeping. It was a Kodak moment for me.
- The first times I saw Hannah and Sarah, after they were born.
- The first times, my two gals called me 'Ibu' and the first times they, both, smiled at me.
- How mama tried very hard to smile, after her 5-hour long operation to remove her tumour, at me. It was her most beautiful smile.
How I wish I could be in each of these memories specifically, again.